Speaking UP

Funny, I have recently been attentive to questions and moments that are described by prases ending in UP...this is interesting to me as it relates to my feelings about looking forward in movement through life.

Today's "up" lesson began yesterday with a near-fight. I allowed myself to speak up in a moment where I would have otherwise held my feelings in for fear of displeasing or creating a moment of conflict with someone I love. I tend to react to -- or retract from -- such moments in this way even more when they involve people I am not familiar with. However, I was happy to have believed in myself, and in the person I love so dearly, enough to speak my mind in a moment where I felt that my heart and mind were in a very different place than his so that we would both better communicate what we were feeling.

Again today, I was reminded of the strength and power of speaking UP during a conversation at lunch when I spend a long time listening to another person who has made it a habit not share moments of discord with the people she most loves and who has, as a result, become very afriad and confused about what she really thinks for herself. This makes me afraid when I can understand, in a very personal way, the situation she has created for herself. Still, I am inexpressibly and infinately grateful, even as I write this, when I recognize my ability to use my voice to speak my mind as my own chance at giving the world, and those I love the most in it, every opportunity to love me better. This is my committment to keep on doing it, no matter what.