Funny, I have recently been attentive to questions and moments that are described by prases ending in UP...this is interesting to me as it relates to my feelings about looking forward in movement through life.
Today's "up" lesson began yesterday with a near-fight. I allowed myself to speak up in a moment where I would have otherwise held my feelings in for fear of displeasing or creating a moment of conflict with someone I love. I tend to react to -- or retract from -- such moments in this way even more when they involve people I am not familiar with. However, I was happy to have believed in myself, and in the person I love so dearly, enough to speak my mind in a moment where I felt that my heart and mind were in a very different place than his so that we would both better communicate what we were feeling.
Again today, I was reminded of the strength and power of speaking UP during a conversation at lunch when I spend a long time listening to another person who has made it a habit not share moments of discord with the people she most loves and who has, as a result, become very afriad and confused about what she really thinks for herself. This makes me afraid when I can understand, in a very personal way, the situation she has created for herself. Still, I am inexpressibly and infinately grateful, even as I write this, when I recognize my ability to use my voice to speak my mind as my own chance at giving the world, and those I love the most in it, every opportunity to love me better. This is my committment to keep on doing it, no matter what.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Waking UP
Sometimes I hate waking up in the morning; the disdain of getting out of a warm bed on a cold morning, knowing that I haven't had enough sleep, worry for what the demanding day will pull out of me...but today I am invited to find reasons to be grateful for it. I realized this morning at around 6:30 while taking a wonderfully hot and soothing shower that I love what the morning holds in its quiet and slow awakening each day. I used to embrace this part of the day with much more enthusiasm, which I have somehow lost the more and more I have become focused on work and getting it done. The morning is not concerned with such things; it does not worry about the time it needs to wake up and become the day that it has been able to create through its waking. I think there is a lesson to be learned from observing the world and I am grateful today for what it has taught me, yet again.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Celebrity Atheists
I'm very, very grateful for Julia Sweeney and Penn Jillette -- two big(-ish) celebrities who've come out as atheists. The stand they've taken -- given how it might impact their careers -- is inspiring.
My newest celebrity atheist hero, however, is Ricky Gervais. In the article I've linked to he describes his deconversion story; it's honest, simple, and straightforward. (You can learn about Julia Sweeney's -- which she's turned into a very successful one-woman play -- here and Penn Jillette's here.) If you've ever seen the original British version of The Office -- far superior to the American version, which is still pretty funny -- you know how incredibly, uncomfortably funny he is. I'm really, really grateful when people that talented and articulate and entertaining speak out on behalf of the truth... without demeaning people of religion. It feels like I'm not alone. I feel like I have... a champion.
My newest celebrity atheist hero, however, is Ricky Gervais. In the article I've linked to he describes his deconversion story; it's honest, simple, and straightforward. (You can learn about Julia Sweeney's -- which she's turned into a very successful one-woman play -- here and Penn Jillette's here.) If you've ever seen the original British version of The Office -- far superior to the American version, which is still pretty funny -- you know how incredibly, uncomfortably funny he is. I'm really, really grateful when people that talented and articulate and entertaining speak out on behalf of the truth... without demeaning people of religion. It feels like I'm not alone. I feel like I have... a champion.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Rich, I'm Rich, I Tell You, I'm Rich!
There is nothing in the world like having an open-hearted, completely non-judgmental, totally supportive friend.
Having so many of them is an embarrassment of riches.
Having so many of them is an embarrassment of riches.
Presence of Mind
Writing is often lonely. You spend time alone, quite literally, sitting at your desk... but you're also spending time alone in your head, wrestling with words and sentences and phrases and structure and what-not. Sometimes I think it's why I became a playwright -- so I'd have lots of different voices in my head to spend time with.
Every now and then, however, you meet someone with a powerful mind that's kindred to your own, and that mind somehow finds its way into yours while you're writing, and there's a kind of quiet conversation that goes on. You feel buoyed and supported. And that's what I'm feeling this morning as I wrestle with the latest scene of my current play. And I am so grateful for her presence in my mind.
Every now and then, however, you meet someone with a powerful mind that's kindred to your own, and that mind somehow finds its way into yours while you're writing, and there's a kind of quiet conversation that goes on. You feel buoyed and supported. And that's what I'm feeling this morning as I wrestle with the latest scene of my current play. And I am so grateful for her presence in my mind.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Having a Home
Today, having returned to my new home after a grueling four hours at work -- I'm not kidding, it was terrible; I have a terrible cold -- I am tremendously grateful for the simple pleasure of having a home to come home to.
As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to hop into my shower, put on my pajamas and robe, and get into my bed to read (and, hopefully, sleep). There are, I realize, millions (?) of people who don't have anywhere comfortable to be sick. Now, this isn't a tremendous illness I'm dealing with -- I wouldn't be blogging if it was, for goodness' sake -- but to have to deal with it on a cold day like today, or (worse still) to have to spend a cold, achy night laying on the sidewalk... well, that'd be dreadful.
The best part about noticing what I have (a wonderful home) rather than what I don't have (my health) is that it makes my illness more bearable. This is a life secret I'm only just now, at 39, figuring out -- but it makes me unbelievably happy.
As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to hop into my shower, put on my pajamas and robe, and get into my bed to read (and, hopefully, sleep). There are, I realize, millions (?) of people who don't have anywhere comfortable to be sick. Now, this isn't a tremendous illness I'm dealing with -- I wouldn't be blogging if it was, for goodness' sake -- but to have to deal with it on a cold day like today, or (worse still) to have to spend a cold, achy night laying on the sidewalk... well, that'd be dreadful.
The best part about noticing what I have (a wonderful home) rather than what I don't have (my health) is that it makes my illness more bearable. This is a life secret I'm only just now, at 39, figuring out -- but it makes me unbelievably happy.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Cold Coffee
On a morning like this one, which has already been full of wonderful, irreplaceably beautiful moments, I am grateful to note how the taste of cold coffee warms me.
Because we got up leisurely, taking our time to tenderly wake each other up, and because we are continuing our morning "getting things done at home," it has been fun to note the domesticity of it all. A little, silly, annoyance about the coffee maker still being plugged in (because we want to be energy-conscious and not leave things plugged in when they are not being used) led me to unplug it, only to later learn that it was not completely empty/finished. Now the cold coffee that has resulted, and which I am drinking, makes me grateful to know that I am living here, that I will surely go on making incorrect assumptions and that I will continue to learn from them because they will always be shared with a man who listens and whom I trust enough to risk being wrong.
Because we got up leisurely, taking our time to tenderly wake each other up, and because we are continuing our morning "getting things done at home," it has been fun to note the domesticity of it all. A little, silly, annoyance about the coffee maker still being plugged in (because we want to be energy-conscious and not leave things plugged in when they are not being used) led me to unplug it, only to later learn that it was not completely empty/finished. Now the cold coffee that has resulted, and which I am drinking, makes me grateful to know that I am living here, that I will surely go on making incorrect assumptions and that I will continue to learn from them because they will always be shared with a man who listens and whom I trust enough to risk being wrong.
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